Showing posts with label Keira Knightley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Keira Knightley. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Crouching Tiger, Thora Birch in a hole, and still more from ClintFest '13 - Reviews #152

I watched a few movies over the Easter break. Now I'm going to tell you about them.

A couple of rewatches:



Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000) - I hadn't seen Ang Lee's metaphysical, phantasmagorical epic kung fu love story since it blew me away at the cinema as a 16-year-old; remiss of me, I know. Twelve years on, and fuck me it looks good. Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh play quiet, lovelorn warriors, kept apart by a shared sense of honour, whose tentative steps towards romance are interrupted most abruptly by highly-strung, arse-kicking governor's daughter Zhang Ziyi, and the high-pitched psychopath she calls master.

The script is blessed with a rare profundity, dealing with massive themes in a way that's elliptical yet grounded, and the methodically paced story - which includes a ludicrously ambitious half-hour flashback sequence dealing with Ziyi's formative romance - is offset by exuberant fights of fancy in which Yun-Fat or Yeoh zip skywards to pad speedily across rooftops in pursuit of the excitable, foul-mouthed little tyke, trading kicks and punches with her as they go. There are also more earthy - though no less remarkable - skirmishes that take place at ground level, including fight choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping's nod to his own work in The Matrix, as Ziyi firmly grasps her stolen sword, the Green Destiny, and Yeoh goes at her with everything she can find: a lance, a pole, a big ball on a stick (sorry to get all technical on you) and finally a dock-off sword of her own.

These fight scenes attain a breathless intensity, especially when the remarkable Yeoh is involved, fuelled by a pounding traditional score and their timeless context: if you feel inexorably tied to these characters, weighed down as they are by these emotions, then it matters more when they're fighting for their lives. There's also something truly fantastical about that first action sequence, as if Jet Li had suddenly turned up in A Short Film About Killing: 20 minutes of steady, timeless talkiness and then an explosion of wonder, as Ziyi's masked thief heads for the clouds. Having said all that, Crouching Tiger didn't reinvent screen action in the way that prissy critics claimed back in 2000. They'd just been too sniffy to watch a wired-up wuxia film - like Once Upon a Time in China or Iron Monkey - until the director of The Ice Storm deigned to make one.

What Lee does bring to the genre, though, is a serious-mindedness and a firm grasp of mythology that's too often missing from kung fu films. When the film wants to be funny, it is (well, apart from that completely incongruous gag in the middle of the frenzied Yeoh-Ziyi HQ battle), but it has little of the mugging and none of the weak comic interludes that drag down too many martial arts movies. Its characters are remarkable, their thoughts concerned with lofty ideals, but they are also recognisable human beings, played to a tee by proper actors.

When you cast Chow Yun-Fat in a kung fu film, you forego a certain skill and athleticism (I think he's doubled in some long shots exhibiting Li Bu Mai's technical prowess), but gain immeasurable weight and authority. Ziyi is a trained dancer, not a martial artist, but she has an acrobatic grace, and negotiates her character's dramatic complexities with admirable skill. And Yeoh, well, she's both a great actress and the definitive female action star of the last couple of decades, so she's alright. I've always held that Armando Ianucci was correct, and that a man has truly reached adulthood when he knows what a radiator bleed key is. Perhaps, though, it's the moment when he watches this film and thinks that while Zhang Ziyi's not bad looking, she's no Michelle Yeoh. (Last time, it was: "Wowsers, that Zhang Ziyi is gorgeous; who's that old woman?") In support, Chang Chen is good as "Dark Cloud", the bum-fluffed desert bandit who engages in a Bringing Up Baby/Ashes of Time hybrid of a burgeoning love story with Ziyi that fuses the battle-of-the-sexes, period romance and "I've-got-your-comb"/"Fuck off, give it back" genres.

Crouching Tiger is one of the great films of last decade, often claustrophobic in scale, but epic in its treatment of human emotion, and chock-full of magic, magnificence and good old-fashioned fucking mayhem. It looks beautiful, it sounds beautiful - hell, it is beautiful - and where it's going, we don't needs roads, or even floors. Goodness knows how it took me 12 years to rewatch it. See you in 2025, when I'll probably think Jade Fox is hotter than Michelle Yeoh and be begging her to stick her poisoned dart in me. (4)

***



Silver Linings Playbook (David O. Russell, 2012) - A film so great that even Chris Tucker is good in it. I loved Silver Linings to pieces when I saw it at the cinema - entranced by its originality, performances and rich sense of character - and it's even better second time around. I wondered if there might be padding somewhere, but there isn't: every scene serves the story and that dramatic spark lit in the opening scene never fades. Bipolar Bradley Cooper is released from a psychiatric hospital eight months after almost beating someone to death, and tries to get his life back on track, looking to overcome his illness by finding "silver linings" in the everyday. Meeting self-confessed "slut", Jennifer Lawrence, the two strike up a bargain: she'll get a letter to his estranged wife (thus sort-of-circumventing a restraining order), if he'll be her partner in a dance contest.

For all the praise heaped on Lawrence, an actress of almost supernatural talent, I think she was lucky to get the Oscar ahead of Wallis - I suspect it has something to do with the old "I fancy her" criterion. She's excellent, but not Hushpuppy-excellent, and really it's Cooper's film. He dominates the movie with a complex, layered and ultimately unforgettable characterisation that does everything you want it to, and then some, never crossing into melodrama or cliche; always ringing true. There aren't many such revelations in cinema: where apparently limited, one-note performers suddenly rip off the lid, and out pours this explosion of talent - Ben Stiller in Tenenbaums and Adam Sandler in Punch-Drunk Love are other rare examples - and so when it happens, it's invigorating to witness.

The supporting cast is also superb. De Niro is better than he has been in years and Jacki Weaver (looking a lot like Brigitte Mira) gives a superb performance as Cooper's mum - it's nice to see the Academy nominate such an unshowy performance - while Tucker, appearing as a nervy patient who's obsessed with a) The law, and b) His hair, confounds all those who thought he was a load of old rubbish. Like me. I suppose I better add him to that "revelations" list. Tentatively.

Silver Linings is a bold film and a brilliant one, expertly walking a tightrope, as it neither mythologises mental illness nor mines it for cheap humour. Yes, the gnawing unhappiness of Melancholia may be more akin to most people's experiences of depression (not the bit where the world ends or where she shags someone on a golf course, the other bit), but I find Silver Linings an inspirational and captivating film: funny, romantic and blissfully entertaining, yes, but with a point and a purpose that makes it truly great. That and the fact that Chris Tucker is good in it. (4)

***

ClintFest '13

Yeah, this is still going on. You can join in if you want. You just have to watch some Clint Eastwood films. That's it.



Two Mules for Sister Sara (Don Siegel, 1970) - A mercenary (Clint Eastwood) and a sweary, resourceful nun (Shirley MacLaine) - who he rather fancies - try to outwit lowlifes, Indians and the French, and so make his fortune, in this Mexican-set Western. The episodic story, by B-Western legend Budd Boetticher, is good but erratic, and the same goes for Ennio Morricone's score (which includes an earworm of a theme for MacLaine) and Siegel's direction - a sumptuous tracking shot one minute, a clumsy, uninteresting composition the next. It's good fun, though, with some nice moments of pathos and comedy, and excellent chemistry between the leads. Eastwood is excellent, gradually expanding his familiar, taciturn persona with flashes of vulnerability and even a nice little song, but MacLaine is even better, and I mean Apartment-good, tackling her character's intentional contradictions, and very real faith, with intelligence, imagination and great beauty of spirit. (3)



Tightrope (Clint Eastwood, 1984) - There's a sign on a nightclub door in this film that says: "If nudity offends you, don't come in", and it's good advice, what with all the clothesless women slinking around, getting into jacuzzis or oiling themselves up and wrestling on stage as a midget referee adjudicates and Clint watches. (Yes really.) He plays a cop, divorced and with two young kids, who's trying to track down a sex murderer, while accidentally getting really horny every time he has to go and interview anyone. All that changes when he strikes up a genuinely affecting friendship with tender, understanding anti-rape activist Genevieve Bujold. This creepy thriller is tawdry, sordid and often just plain old horrible, but it's also very well-acted - particularly by Eastwood and his real-life daughter Alison - features a distinctive jazzy score and offers some interesting insights into love, lust and "the darkness inside all of us". Like Sudden Impact, it shows that the mid-'80s Clint just couldn't keep away from fairground equipment at night. And like so many of the star's later movies, it studies and subverts the prejudices rife in his earlier work - in this case the way that films like Coogan's Bluff and High Plains Drifter took rape so alarmingly lightly. (2.5)

***

Other stuff:



Police Story 3: Supercop (Stanley Tong, 1992) - Hong Kong "supercop" Kevin Chan (Jackie Chan), who as you'll know alternates incredible feats of derring-do with getting whacked in the balls, takes on his most OTT assignment yet, battling drug traffickers with the help of high-kicking Chinese military official Michelle Yeoh. They go deep undercover, getting involved in a prison break and a hilariously excessive jungle shoot-out, and the result is one of the most purely enjoyable actioners of the '90s. In its shortened US cut (which contains incongruous hip-hop and dubbing, though at least the stars do their own voices), the film consists of a string of astonishing action set pieces, held together by the merest suggestion of plot, and interrupted only occasionally by some surprisingly bearable comedy. Jackie is great, being swung across the city by a helicopter at the climax - only to end up atop a moving train, like his hero Buster Keaton - but Yeoh completely steals the show, offering a series of staggering stunts and fight scenes. Like Jackie at the start of the original Police Story, she latches onto a lorry and refuses to be budged, but that's only the start of it: there are artful leaps through windows (another Keaton speciality), split-kicks at head height, and a gobsmacking piece of daredevilry near the close, as she lands a motorbike on that speeding train. I'm keen to see the authentic HK version of the movie, but this isn't bad for now: a popcorn movie of the highest order, and perhaps the only time Jackie's been bested on screen since he stopped working with Yuen Biao. (3.5)

***



The Hole (Nick Hamm, 2001) - Wooden teenagers play out Rashomon very badly in this risible horror-thriller, which is clunky and embarrassing in that special way that only British films can be. Thora Birch - speaking in a very Aussie "English" accent - emerges from a disused bunker covered in blood. She'd climbed in to try to snare the emo of her dreams, but her three companions - rounded out by long-headed rugger player Laurence Fox and the 16-year-old Keira Knightley, flashing her tits for no discernible reason - had put their lives in danger to avoid a geography field trip. What an extremely credible set-up; now let's find out who's telling the truth about what went on down there: Birch or a potentially malevolent nerd who sounds like Tony Blair. Birch - who gave such an extraordinary performance the same year in the decade's best film, Ghost World - is quite good, and there's a well sexy scene where a green-faced Knightley vomits profusely into a toilet, but The Hole is a thin, unrewarding and ultimately pointless exercise entirely lacking in thrills, scares and, in its second half, anything even resembling real human emotion. (1.5)

***


Oh look, it's the back of Olivier Gourmet's head again.

The Son (Dardenne brothers, 2002) - A fastidious, haunted carpenter (Olivier Gourmet), who helps young offenders, takes on his son's murderer as an apprentice in this draining, often stunning drama from the Dardenne brothers. That fascinating premise is given mature and unsentimental treatment that compares favourably with the similar In the Bedroom. While, in my limited experience, the Dardennes' films tend to end with a fraught confrontation in a wood, followed by a brief, understated moment of catharsis, it's never quite clear where this story is heading or what the protagonist's plans are - if indeed he knows. Their movies are so richly realistic as to sometimes appear humdrum, providing a meticulous presentation of everyday monotony. And here some of the photography choices are downright peculiar: I've certainly never been better-acquainted with the back of an actor's head. But they clearly believe that you can only understand a character by understanding their way of life and the rhythms within it, and that you can only observe such things properly by literally following them around.

They also clearly feel a great affinity with young offenders, unusual in today's world, repeatedly portraying them as victims of society, so it's interesting to see the story told from their victims' side. My only complaint is that the film, while startlingly original and beautifully acted, is ultimately too restrained for its own good - certainly its selfish, unrepentant teenager is harder to side with than Rosetta or The Kid with a Bike. The decision to have him lament only the time he spent behind bars is a curious one that fatally undercuts the denouement. There's a feeling that this should have been a truly great film, whereas it's only a very good one. Actually, that's not my only complaint. The idea that a table football champion would play without keeping one hand on the goalie is ridiculous. What do they take us for, idiots? (3.5)

***

Thanks for reading.

Monday, 31 January 2011

Harold Lloyd, The King's Speech and Tarzan's most annoying friend - Reviews #53



You know Harold Lloyd. Dark hair. Glasses. Smart suit. Hanging from a clock. I've been watching a heap of his films of late. Here's some stuff about them.

Harold Lloyd in...

For Heaven's Sake (Sam Taylor, 1926) - Wow. This will take some beating. A genuinely beguiling, hilarious Harold Lloyd comedy about a spoilt millionaire getting involved with a mission, to win the heart of a girl (Jobyna Ralston). I find Lloyd's work pretty variable. This is one of his less ambitious films but - along with The Kid Brother - the best I've encountered, with a touching romance, stunning set pieces and the funniest drunks that side of Frank McHugh. And the Robert Israel score is one of the loveliest things I've ever heard. (4)

Grandma's Boy (Fred C. Newmeyer, 1922) - Reactionary but charming and pastoral Harold Lloyd vehicle. Nearly missteps with a flashback sequence, then pulls it out of the bag, before climaxing in typically exciting fashion. (4)

A Sailor-Made Man (Fred C. Newmeyer, 1921) - Lloyd's first feature, coming in at a trim 47 minutes, isn't as good as Chaplin's (The Kid), but turns out better than Buster's (The Saphead), with neat characterisation, clever sight gags and an exuberant action climax. Pretending you're a cushion and then kicking someone up the bum so they fall into a swimming pool is always going to be funny. Special mention too for the penultimate scene, where Lloyd just can't get a kiss. (3)

Dr. Jack (Fred C. Newmeyer, 1922) - Unwaveringly pleasant Lloyd vehicle, with our hero as an idiosyncratic country doctor trying to save a sensitive, cloistered girl (Mildred Davis) from her fraudulent doctor, who keeps her dosed up and in the dark. Lots of gentle jokes, before a frenetic finale with more than a hint of Keaton's classic short The Goat, released the previous year. (3)

Why Worry? (Fred C. Newmeyer, 1923) - The first half of this much-praised outing is flatly disappointing, with a super set-up - a hypochondriac gets caught up in a revolution - thwarted by a succession of forced gags. Then suddenly the film bursts into life, climaxing with three hysterical fight scenes and some desperately tender, affecting romantic scenes opposite the wonderful Jobyna Ralston - by far the best of Lloyd's leading ladies, with an easy humour and tremendous natural warmth. There's a sublime closing scene too, which is anarchic, absurd and just plain old nice. (3)

The Cat's Paw (Sam Taylor, 1934) - *SPOILERS* Fine fish-out-of-water Lloyd talkie hampered by a notoriously bizarre final act in which he becomes a dictator. Una Merkel is a glorious leading lady. (3)

Movie Crazy (Clyde Bruckman, 1932) - I read a very enthusiastic review of this sound feature, which is what inspired me to dig out the Lloyd box-set in the first place (I bought it when it came out, watched half of the stuff on it, then got sidetracked and stuck it in a cupboard). Ironically, it's one of his weaker features, with its dearth of genuine belly laughs extending to a notably laughless, scoreless finale, which is essentially just a brutal fight. That's not to say the film doesn't offer plenty of enjoyment. Harold remains an engaging hero, Constance Cummings is a likeable and agreeably modern leading lady and there are some funny set-pieces, like our hero accidentally ruining her car, and his famous "magician's coat" sequence. But the Hollywood setting isn't adequately exploited (it hurts a little that there are no gag cameos; sometimes being independent must suck) and the highs just aren't as high as you'd hope, meaning it can't come close to matching Lloyd's silent classics. It would take Preston Sturges to give him the talkie - and the swansong - he deserved, some 16 years later. (3)

Hot Water (Fred C. Newmeyer and Sam Taylor, 1924) - Little-seen Harold Lloyd comedy is disappointing, disjointed and stressful rather than funny, at least in its first half. Picks up a bit in the second, with a couple of nice thrill sequences. (2.5)

... and here are the rest of the January reviews:

CINEMA: The King's Speech (Tom Hooper, 2010) - Brilliant stuff. As my girlfriend said: "I thought Colin Firth would be Oscar-worthy, but I didn't know he'd be good as well." And he is. Astonishingly good. The script isn't always faithful to the history, we could have used a little less symbolic Churchill and there's a slightly saggy bit at the end of the first third full of Gambon and Pearce, but for the most part this is stirring, funny and riotously enjoyable, with super support from Bonham Carter, Rush and the ever-underrated Anthony Andrews. (4)



The Last Days of Disco (Whit Stillman, 1998) - I dismissed this somewhat on first viewing, as it can't touch Stillman's other entries in the "doomed bourgeois in love" trilogy, Metropolitan and Barcelona. Also, three of the characters look pretty much identical, which meant I found the plot a little hard to follow. Silly old me. A rewatch reveals it to be a minor classic, with Stillman's typically fine ear for dialogue, another brilliant Eigeman performance and plenty of astute commentary on youth, romance and popular culture. I'll catch it again soon. (3.5)

Let Him Have It (Peter Medak, 1991) - Excellent but virtually unwatchable recounting of the Derek Bentley miscarriage of justice. Powerful, polemical and superbly acted across the board, with Paul Reynolds (Press Gang's Colin) matching Eccleston and veterans Courtenay and Atkins. I'll never watch it again, though, as I still feel bloody dreadful a day after seeing it. (3.5)

Quick Change (Howard Franklin and Bill Murray, 1990) - Considered by everyone to be "the great lost Bill Murray comedy", which I think makes that untrue. It's funny, entertaining and offbeat, with a particularly strong opening 15 and plenty of surprises thereafter, even if it's marginally less compelling than Scorsese's unjustly neglected After Hours, with which it has much in common. (3.5)

The Social Network (David Fincher, 2010) - Not quite great, but fascinating and entertaining, with a strong script and performances. (3.5)



The Night They Raided Minsky's (William Friedkin, 1968) - Not much story, but a dazzling evocation of burlesque in the '20s, with a wonderfully eclectic cast: Jason Robards, Jr., Bert Lahr (the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz), Britt Ekland, Norman Wisdom and Fender from Bilko. (3.5)

Flushed Away (David Bowers and Sam Fell, 2006) - I avoided this first time around, due to the apparently unappealing subject matter (I'm as up for a poo gag as the next man who finds poo really funny, but I wasn't sure I wanted to spend a whole film down the toilet), so it's nice to find that it's actually a really refreshing movie. The animation looks a touch primitive compared to recent ventures and Hugh Jackman is all wrong voicing our toffish protagonist, but Winslet's love interest is appealing, the supporting characters are really funny and the chase sequences are genuinely thrilling. (3)

CINEMA: The Green Hornet (Michel Gondry, 2011) - It seems half-finished, with iffy retro-fitted 3D, extended comic interludes crowbarred in pretty much indiscriminately and a minimal amount of Gondry magic. I really didn't care, as it made me laugh a lot. (2.5)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (Edgar Wright, 2010) - Flashy, memorable and yet still a bit disappointing really, given the fields of lovingly-tended hype surrounding it. There are loads of good things in it (sight gags, non-sequiturs, one-liners - "Your bad is saying 'My bad'"), but it doesn't quite work as a whole - like Igby Goes Down. And Kieran Culkin is the best thing on show - like Igby Goes Down. Wright's uber-stylised direction and cut-to-the-quick editing provides plenty of colour while cramming about eight hours' worth of stuff into just two, and the supporting cast is really strong, but Cera is uncharacteristically annoying (and, no, I don't think that's intentional) and his chemistry with Lucy McClane is non-existent. Added to which, her character isn't developed beyond a cool wardrobe. And most of the music is a bit weak. Sorry. Still quite good though. (2.5)



Atonement (Joe Wright, 2007) - Knightley is surprisingly good, as is the kid, and the Dunkirk sequence is a knockout (Wright is clearly a fine director), but I'm not sure what the point is. Is it clearer in the novel? (2.5)

Starsky & Hutch (Todd Phillips, 2004) - Good fun, with a few big laughs. I'll watch Owen Wilson in anything (except Meet the Little Fockers). Snoop Dogg has quite a high-pitched voice. (2.5)

Con Air (Simon West, 1997) - Vivid characterisations make this OTT actioner a touch better than average, but the last half hour is pretty boring, and capped off with a hideously ill-judged coda. Cusack and Malkovich are really effective, but then they always are. (2.5)

The Queen (Stephen Frears, 2006) - There are impressive things in it - particularly Mirren - but it's overly repetitive and, like so many of the supporting performances, contrives to just miss the target. Peter Morgan can only write one type of film, can't he? And this is no Frost/Nixon. We could probably all live long and happy lives without the stag metaphor. (2.5)



Torchy Blane.. Playing with Dynamite (Noel M. Smith, 1939) - We wrapped up another series with this one, the final entry in Warner's popular B-movie run of the late 1930s. Blane was the inspiration for Superman's Lois Lane, the name partly drawn from Lola Lane, who played the character in one outing. Glenda Farrell was the only true Blane, though, appearing in seven of the nine entries and getting it supremely, effortlessly right each time. Absent here, Farrell is obviously missed, but Jane Wyman does an unexpectedly strong job of deputising, and Allen Jenkins is very good as her cop boyfriend, replacing Barton McLane. Absent-minded desk sergeant George Guhl is also elsewhere (literally this time), but ever-present Tom Kennedy is back for more as Gahagan, the soft detective with a yen for composing verse. The key for the series was really the performances. The first Blane film, Smart Blonde, benefited from snappy, clever dialogue, but generally the scripts were rushed, meaning the plots were full of holes and the patter erratic. Here, the story is better than usual, with Blane getting slung in jail to befriend gangster's moll Sheila Bromley, though her tactic of getting there - raising 11 false fire alarms - is slightly questionable, and her supposed rivalry with the police evaporates after about 10 minutes. Still, it's tense and enjoyable, with an abrupt ending that works quite well. (2.5)

She Knew All the Answers (Richard Wallace, 1941) - Fun romantic comedy with Franchot Tone, Joan Bennett and such familiar faces as William Tracy (Pepe from The Shop Around the Corner), Thurston Hall, Chester Clute and Billy Benedict in support. Bennett is a showgirl trying to get her boyfriend's stuffy uncle (Tone) to approve of her, so as to free up his mammoth inheritance. He's inheriting money, incidentally, not mammothseses. Instead, Tone takes a bit of a shine to her. The film borrows liberally from Easy Living in its stocks-and-shares subplot - and can't approach the majesty of that cast-iron classic - but it's all very pleasant, and they go to a fair at Coney Island. (2.5)

Dark Alibi (Phil Karlson, 1946) - Unusually well-directed Monogram Chan with an atypically coherent plot. Among the best of the series, then, though still dirt-cheap, with the familiar paucity of scriptwriting class reflected in the cut-price aphorisms. It's worth repeating that these Poverty Row programmers aren't a patch on the Fox films, which are simply wonderful, but fans will probably want to investigate them, once they've worked their way through those earlier classics. (2.5)



I'll Be Yours (William A. Seiter, 1947) - Pretty weak remake of The Good Fairy, with excessive re-writing losing the essence of the original and Tom Drake completely miscast in the Herbert Marshall role. It's one of the final four Deanna Durbin films, which she derided in her 1983 interview with David Shipman. It's perhaps not quite as bad as she made out, but it's streets behind Three Smart Girls or Mad About Music. (2)

Pulp (Mike Hodges, 1972) - A smug, disengaging and often incoherent homage to pulp fiction. There are a few bright moments, a handful of funny in-jokes (that nevertheless betray a certain desperation) and Lizabeth Scott's only movie appearance since 1957, but really it's just a massive disappointment - like a failed version of Gumshoe. (2)

Turner & Hooch (Roger Spottiswoode, 1989) - I saw bits and pieces of this when I was little (I'm 6' 3" now), but thought it deserved a proper go because I read a post on Empire Online raving about it, albeit with the caveat that it had a nostalgic pull. It was alright: Hanks was pretty decent, I'm really not sure about the ending. (2)

Bridget Jones's Diary (Sharon Maguire, 2001) - A zeitgeisty novel becomes undemanding, conventional romantic fare mining the comedy of embarassment. The three leads are all decent, but the script isn't. The Auschwitz joke made me wince. Death camp uniforms, lol. (2)



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Steven Spielberg, 2008) - Oh dear. Annoying dialogue, action scenes largely shorn of their trademark wonder, a laughably awful plot and a terrible baddie. Even John Hurt's rubbish in it. It makes Temple of Doom look nearly good. Half a mark for the ghost village and old times' sake. (1.5)

"Through the forest I carry the mail/Singing better than a nightingale/As great a lover as postman/And particular friend of the mighty Tarzan."
Tarzan and the Mermaids (Robert Florey, 1948)
*SOME SPOILERS*

The last, and by far the least, of the Weissmuller Tarzans. It's stultifying, truth be told, with a risible storyline utilising a hammy George Zucco, and an inexplicable number of terrible songs (please see above), crooned by John Laurenz. The only brightspots are the snippets of Robert-Florey-does-Robert-Flaherty faux-documentary footage, some decent underwater photography, a bit where loads of stuntmen leap off a cliff and the unexpected octopus duel (it won't be unexpected anymore; sorry). The remaining 61 of the 64 minutes consist of Tarzan swimming and people getting into and out of boats (calling to mind that famous review of They Were Expendable; alas, the similarities end there), as well as those bloody songs. Even Johnny Sheffield and the decent Cheetas had buggered off by this time. RKO's revival of the popular MGM series ultimately created one minor classic of its kind (Desert Mystery), two enjoyable timewasters (Triumphs and Huntress), a pair of iffy, cheesy romps and this dud. (1.5)